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is my poem cool?

Author : ugly duckling101

Submitted : 2018-02-25 00:05:54    Popularity:     

Tags: poem  cool  

Picture

he lay still
by the edge
of the lake

imigining
he was whole
memories

like weaponized rpg's
time bombs
they dare not risk
distortions

Answers:

Yes it's very cool..
I think whole should be hole though.
That will make it even cooler.

It's a little hard to understand at first, or make sense of, but you should try to carry it on and make it longer if you can. Let it just flow, then the rhythm should follow. Good luck! I wrote a poem today too, explaining about my suffering from depression/isolation (being a girl) This best describes what the mind is like, and what the "place" feels like.

Feeling the coldness under the skin,
knowing the confusion is growing within.
Getting lost in the weeping wood,
under the branches, where you stood.
Follow the path, to find your way,
to the place of solitude, here you'll stay.
Lonely and quiet, it appears to be,
and a strange tint to the air, you shall see.
No thoughts, no voice, unable to think,
no hunger, no thirst, unable to drink.
The weeping wood, seems a place to die,
but content in it's silence, you dwell and lie.
A void, a dimension, a land of it's own,
an area of mind, which you can call home.
Strange mirrors of dark reflections,
and passageways leading in all directions.
Listen to the sound that weeping wood makes,
open your eyes and know it's awake.
Shades of black, white, and some parts grey,
an atmosphere of night, an ending of day.
Feeling like you can never leave,
the load of guilt, that makes you grieve.
Living has been about isolation and fear,
and a sense that time of death is near.
Weeping wood is somewhere to stay,
to wander, to escape, to forever play.
At least in it's madness, it brings relief,
from the daily anxiety, stress, and grief.
For it has many doors that open wide,
but who can guess what s on the other side.
Curiosity can lead you to discover,
what these doors show to uncover.
There is an emptiness inside,
and a lifeless heart, withered and dried.
No way to resurrect the joy,
so treat weeping wood as your toy.

Yea fam

No, it sucks



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